Foster Care

Foster Care

      Let me just start off with a general quote describing foster care, “foster care provides children with an alternative to living in an unsafe environment. It is a system in which a minor is placed either with a relative, foster parent, or a close family friend as a substitute for a child’s unsuitable living situation” (Transitions Children’s Services). Knowing that, I will explain the process needed in order to become a foster parent, common misconceptions, and the effect on both foster child and parent. Before going through the process of being a foster parent it is important to keep in mind these ten myths that you may have believed about the foster care system in the past.

      Myth number one, “Most children in foster care have dozens of placements” (AdoptUSKids), no, in fact on average each child has a number of three placements. Number two, “the racial background of most children in foster care is…” (AdoptUSKids), the races in a foster care are often quite diverse, “Approximately 41% of children in foster care are white, 27% are Black, 21% are Hispanic, and the remaining 8% are multiracial” (AdoptUSKids). Number three, “ Most children in foster care are teenagers” (AdoptUSKids), the actual average age of kids in the system are 10. Number four, “I have no control over which children I’m asked to foster” (AdoptUSKids), you can’t specifically say I want a blonde hair, blue eyed, boy, about 5. You are however allowed to choose the gender you prefer, the age range, and if you get the call that there is a 10 year old girl in need, then you always have the option to say no if that doesn't fit with your household. Number five, “Each foster child has to have a room of their own” (AdoptUSKids), correction, each child must have a bed of their own, not specifically a room of their own unless behavioral issues imply so. Number six, “I can’t foster if I have a full time job outside of home” (AdoptUSKids), there is no need to be a stay at home parent in order to foster, but if the child needs daycare you will have to cover the expense. Number seven, “As a foster parent, I will receive little to no support from the state” (AdoptUSKids), false, Medicaid covers the child's medical expenses, the foster care agency will send a monthly check to help pay for room and board, and some state agencies provide supportive services such as training and respite care. Number eight, “All children in foster care have special needs and require special education” (AdoptUSKids), though many children may have physical, mental, or emotional handicaps, the term special needs refers to children with specific factors or conditions like siblings that have to go as a pair, older children, or being part of an ethnic background. These should not be confused with those that need special education. Number nine, “Adopting or fostering a child who’s been removed from the care of their birth parents is dangerous” (AdoptUSKids), agencies and the state are very careful when dealing with any difficulties resulting in the separation of the child with their birth family, and the fostering parents. When court-ordered visits are needed, it will be decided whether supervision will be needed or not. Finally number ten, “I’m not allowed to adopt children I foster” (AdoptUSKids), it is true that if it has been decided the child can return to their birth parents that you can not adopt them, but for the 54% of children that can not return to their parents, adopting them after you have fostered them is a possibility. Now that you have cleared those myths from your mind, you can make room for the fostering process.

      The whole process from orientation to approved and licensed can take quite a bit of time, depending upon your eagerness, and the agency you are working with. Your first step is to attend a day orientation that will give you important information to confirm your decision, or to help you realize you need more time. Then you will fill out a foster parent questionnaire to see if you meet the qualifications. General requirements are: you must have compassion and the willingness to nurture a child in crisis, be 21 or over, have space in your home, have a valid drivers license and proof of auto insurance, all adults in the home must pass a fingerprint background check, complete a general health exam/TB test, must be certified in first aid and cpr, and basic water rescue training if you have a pool, spa, or pond at your home with no lifeguard. The next step is to fill out and turn in a foster parent application. Then attend 20 hours of foster/adopt training. Next you will participate in an interview for certification. Finally you need to pass a home check. From there you could wait anywhere from a few days, up to six months before receiving a foster child in need, it all depends on the needs of the child in comparison to what you offer, and location. Now comes the effect on both you and the child or children.

      Considering the initial quote, this whole system is to help these children. They are coming to you from unsuitable homes, some from abuse, and others from neglect, so their emotional standing may be poor. It is wrong to assume that any child should be automatically grateful to b e put into the foster care system. Though they may be better off later, in the initial moment they will not be sweet happy little kids. They may not understand or be confused, they are taken from their parents, their home, possibly their school, maybe pets, and other such items, and put with a complete stranger in all new room and situation. This is why many want nothing to do with being a foster parent. It is a tough task at times, they may scream at you not to touch them, don't talk to them, or that they want their mommy, but all you can do is to try your best yo be loving, comforting, and supportive. Imagine if you put yourself in their shoes, it may help you better understand where they are coming from. Negatives aside there are so many positives that far outweigh the bad or difficult. You have a chance to change a child life. It may not be a huge impact for some, but many foster children that have grown up and gone on their own have reflected back to their foster parents and been grateful for the support and care they were given, “My family and my life may have been unconventional but I’m the woman I am now- with the drive to follow my dreams and keep my heart open- because of it” relates Kaitlin Chamberlain, who got bounced around to many different homes when she was younger, but wouldn't change her life for a minute. For the parents themselves you can learn so many new things from a foster child, strength, new techniques, ways of thinking, experiences, beliefs, compassion, and understanding to name a few. Being a foster parent can be a highly rewarding personal choice for anyone willing to help those in need. You can be that change in someones life, and they can do the same for you.
      Becoming a foster parent can be a tough decision, you may encounter children with difficult emotional needs, or feel like there is just no way you can help.but keep in mind that it is a loving, and supportive presence that they need, and that you are providing. If you have that desire to be a foster parent, don't wait and expect someone else to do it instead, there are roughly half a million U.S kids in the foster care system, and only about half that of foster parents, you can make a difference. Remember the myths, take that first step, finish the process, and you can be on the road to a rewarding life.

Sources:

• http://people.howstuffworks.com/foster-care.htm 
• http://www.childrensrights.org/issues-resources/foster-care/facts-about-foster-care/ 
• http://www.transitionschildrensservices.org/foster-care.html?gclid=CMLsmv2Fxb0CFclDMgodBCQA-w 
• http://www.thebolditalic.com/articles/3360-i-grew-up-in-the-foster-care-system 
• http://adoptuskids.org/for-families/how-to-foster/common-myths-about-foster-care#multiple-placements